Stalked

 

Freaking hell it's happening again.

OK I had just visited the bank and nipped into a local store for a few things. I am at the baking section looking for chocolate chips for some baking I wanted to do that afternoon and someone walks up close by looking at the shelf as well.

Him: Hi.

Me: Hi (I turned to look at a youngish black man in a wooly jumper holding some leaflet from the bank)

Him: You look very pretty.

Me: Thanks (OK creepy and a bit weird to say to someone randomly)

Him: Do You live round here.

Me: Yes (Not thinking fully but wanted to keep answers short and not give out too many details)

Him: My name is John

Me: Hi (Not giving you my damn name freak)

At this point I am wandering why he is trying to chat me up and was going to tell him I have a boyfriend and to go away but by this point he moved from my field of vision. So I start looking round the store and I take a few steps to another aisle I stop to look at something and there he is pering round the corner at me a few steps behind me. I move a little faster and thought I lost him and stop turn and again he creeps round the corner following me. So that being that I thought fuck it get the hell out and somewhere where he can't follow me. So I head to the self service check outs as they are quicker as I pay to leave there he is looking like he is queing for another check out looking at the magazines on display. Thinking this is my chance I head out fast and luckily I don't live far so got into my apartment block quickly.

As I turn to make sure the door closed and locked there he is on the other side of the door looking in at me. The fucker followed me! I went straight to my apartment and looked out to see if he was still outside. Thankfully no and I doudt he came into the building as he doesnt know my apartment number and there are 50+ apartments in the building.

It's been a while since I was creeped out like that and stalked like that. What the hell was this guy after? How long had he been following me before I realised he was there? Bit pissed I only managed to get one thing out of the store now I am wandering if it will happen again when I next go in. I think I might look out my panic alarm again for next time.

Secret Virgin

Dinner and a movie success

 

So got back from date number 3 this morning.

And no it is not what you are thinking. We didn't go that far.

We finally got to see the movie I wanted to see and had dinner after wards, a reverse of the last date. So we finished dinner early and he asks me to come over to his place to check out his new apartment and TV along with his photos of holidays he took last year.

So we get to his place and I get the grand tour and view of an unmade bed (typical) and then settle down to watch a movie on his new TV, me being conscious of catching the last tube home made sure it wasn't an epic long movie. Movie ends and I check the time and have a little extra spare before having to catch the tube, so he showed me his holiday snaps, and we end up cuddling for a little while which was very nice. Next thing we know it's 1am and no tubes.

Fuck!

I have no money for a taxi to take me all the way out to where I lived. I notice he has a little glint in his eye and says I can crash at his place, which was pretty much my only option left at this time unless I was prepared to walk all night. I begin to wonder if this was a plan he has had for the past few hours and hoping to get his leg over.

But no he was a gent. He offered his bed for me and he would take the spare room bed, but I refused and took the spare bedroom instead. No funny business, no jumping on me late at night just showed me to my room and help sort the bed and curtains out and left me to it. Of course no PJ's so was left with panties and the t-shirt I was wearing, which isn't bad, I look good like that.

This morning we wake up and we share some orange juice watched some TV and then I decided it was time for me to leave thou he wanted me to stay for another movie. But sitting in unclean clothes and a desperate need to sort out hair and teeth as well as find some fresh clothes and a shower. So he walked to the tube station holding hands and was a little reluctant to let go of my hand, but we hugged and had a quick kiss and parted company.

All of that was very nice and we had fun. But one thing did worry me during the night. I found I had become "wet" as I changed for bed last night and got worst during the night. Yet didn't feel horny or have that tingly feeling when I am turned on, has never happened before and startled me at first and a very strange sensation while trying to sleep and finding I had lubed up without knowing it.

Then all I could think off was, 'need clean panties'. Or better yet, carry clean ones.

Yours

Secret Virgin

Failed Movie Date

 

A very late blog post about 2nd date that happened a week ago.

Anyway after some chatting about what to do, we decided on the restaurant we were going to go to on the first date and then go and see a west end show. A show he has wanted to try and see for a while, which is fine I had no problem, so that was decided. Then when he tried to sort it out they didn't do a show on Monday night despite thinking they did so we went to back up of a movie. So I get times for the film we decided on seeing and we had plenty of time to get from the restaurant to the cinema down the road.

So far we have had 2 dates and his organizational skills seem to be almost non existent. Some of it a bit running round at the last minute. So far just been rolling my eyes.

He turns up a little late, which isn't a big deal. Had a really nice meal and half way threw he asks what time the movie is and I remind him, again we had plenty of time. After dinner we decide to have a drink at the bar before heading down the road. He then asks me again about cinema times, I tell him. He looks at his watch and informs me we have missed it.

..........

I think we can safely say, time slips past him like a penguin ice skating. After all that planning we miss it. I was a little irritated as I really wanted to see this film.

But the evening wasn't a total bust we had another good long chat over more drinks before catching the last tube home. He very kindly walked me to my platform and saw me on the tube train before heading off to catch his service.

Just hugs, no kissing. We seem to be taking it slowly, which I guess is normal for online dating. Already gotten a hint he wants me to visit him in his new pad and bring a DVD with me. We are progressing at a steady pass so far. Minus the timing and lack of organizational skills that seem to dog us.

Now awaiting date 3. Hopefully we will get to see this movie next time.

Yours
Secret Virgin

Secret Diary of a Call Girl returns!

One of my favourite shows returns for a new and final series.

Billie Piper returns as high class call girl Belle De Jour. Starts Feb 1st, 10pm GMT on ITV 2.

I also return to the blogging scene.

Yours
Secret Virgin

Digital Dating

For regular readers will of read, last entry I was trying to decide if it was worth signing up to eHarmony as I had received a new communication from someone and couldn't respond or see photo's due to me not being a member. Which is complete crock if you ask me and a lot of money but luckily I was offered 3 months for the price of one and after some discussions with my mum decided to go ahead with it.

So been in regular communication with a guy on eHarmony and we have much in common and cute from his photo's. After a couple of weeks of eHarmony mail he asked me last night he enjoyed chatting with me online and would like to meet up for drinks. Which is fair enough and got to give it a go I suppose, and was hoping to meet up with him at some point anyway but didn't want to seem pushy. Now that we are going to sort a time to meet up it seems more real and a bit more scary. All of the men I have dated ended up being stalkers of some description including my very first "boyfriend" and he was the worst of the lot.

Some mixture of excitement and fear right now. But going to plug on with it and hopefully he won't end up hiding outside my apartment.

Yours
Secret Virgin

Free Communication Expeiment Part 2

Aye!

That's all I can say about it all so far. Today 35 matches in my match box on eHarmony. Out of them all there is one that catches my attention.

As of my entry yesterday there has been 2 more "matches". Yesterday it was 'C' and 'J'. Me and C, an IT Service Desk Operator, shared questions, answers, hates and must haves. Came to a bit of a dead stop after that, interest became a bit lacking and still is somewhat but don't whant to seem like a bitch as I initiated the discussion. Next stage is to send open questions, you can put in your own or choose from a list and allows for more detailed answers. Just trying to decide if it is worth going ahead with step 4 since there is barely 2 days left.

J, a TV producer and about 6 years my senior, has yet to respond to my questons and is funnily enough the one guy I feel I can really connect with. Knowing my luck he will respond after Monday. Typical Man haha.

Yesterday a new guy intiated communication with me. For now we will call him 'I'. Read his profile, nothing in it jumps out at me but give him a benefit of a doubt and responded to his questions and sent him my own. Couple hours later he responds, and a couple of the answers were OK the rest were, well, cautious shall we say. One question I sent was along the lines of what wil you do to cheer me up after a bad day. He had a chioce of 4 answers or write his own he went with write his own and responce was basically 'depends'.

DEPENDS! That sounded half hearted. You contacted me mate put some effort into it. Anyway the answers wenr't exactly thrilling so have not continued to step 2. Oh and I is a civil servant and like his profile a tad boring.

Got more matches today and well could only find one of interest. We will call him 'P', TV Director and a little closer to my age. Profile made me smile and sounded like someone I could connect. Currently waiting for a responce.

On another note if you are considering doing the free communication with eHarmony, the home profile. You have updaes inculding who looks at your profile. Prolem is you can't see who has looked unless once again you subscribe, they just come up as "someone" and again no photo's. There are many disadvantages to this especially, if like me, you are on a tight budget.

The experiement continues.

Yours
Secret Virgin

Everyone else Has Had More Sex Than Me

Don't know how many have seen this. I got reminded about it this morning. I saw it years ago but is worth sharing again.

Original video on Albino Blacksheep.com


Enjoy

Yours
Secret Virgin

The Tasteless Chat Up!

Yes we have all had it happen at least once. Your in a bar/club/social event and some guy/girl comes up to you with a chat line they think will get your panties off faster then a hurricane can and you end up getting a line that makes you either laugh or run for the door.

Some bad chat up memories came to light this morning after reading this article from Yahoo! Dating on How to Avoid Flirting Disaster

There are questionable points on there but the point about "Watch What You Say" is the one I am interested in. And I am here today to share my experience in VERY bad chat up lines.

Two big ones come to mind immediately. Both funnily enough were while I was at University.

This one happened on a night out for my Birthday and it was just me and a few mates, me being the only single one. We are in a bar and a guy wanders up with a drink in each hand (Both were for him, he made that clear) very much on the way to being totally wasted. He then learns I am the only single and celebrating my birthday, and then tries to sign me up to the Universities Sports Association and join a club, hoping to get my number that way. I naturally am already a member of the association but the guy was so far gone he kept trying to persuade me.

This may not be a extremely bad chat up, but definitely a weird way of hooking up with someone is getting rat arsed and then try and get them to join a club that you are already a part of. Would of been a funny story if he was sober and didn't shut up.

Bad line 2 is a major OMG moment.

Again in a bar. Large middle-eastern guy walks up to me. Says I am hot, got a great figure, I do something to him ect. Of course my head is saying yeah OK that's not new mate. Anyway next thing he is going on about him and his mates are studying Dentistry at Manchester University, and they are making a film.

SV's Head: ....OK bit wierd but there could be a good explanation behind it like a promo for the department ect....

Him: "I think you would be good in it"

SV's head: ....OK getting weirder....

Him: "You're the type of girl we need"

SV's Head: ....Um.....

Him: "I think you have the 'talent' for it"

SV's Head: ......OK RED ALERT.......

Him: "It will be on the internet, what do you think? Interested?"

Me: Um let me think about it, um got to find a friend, yeah that's it, I think she went that way.
SV's Head: OK were is the nearest exit?

Seriously did he think that chat up would work?!

I don't think I will ever have someone approach me and top that little gem. I know it was a slut's and pimps fancy dress night but didn't think I looked that easy.

Keep to the basics please.

Yours
Secret Virgin

10 Things Men Shouldn't Do In The Delivery Room

Read this on Yahoo! and found it funny and somewhat disturbing that men do some of these things. Read carefully men, good idea not to do any of the following or you will end up in the next ward.

1. Express boredom

Labour can be long, sometimes unfortunately lasting for days. Sighing, looking at your watch, pretending to fall asleep or verbally expressing how bored you are is a definite no-no during any part of labour. Husbands and partners, take note, how ever long labour seems for you, it seems five times longer for your partner. With each hour that passes, your boredom increases, but for her each hour brings more pain, more exhaustion and more frustration as your baby makes its entrance into the world. If you're bored, go for a walk around the block. And remember, you can take time out, she can't. 

2. Sit on your Blackberry/iPhone/Laptop

Sitting and worrying about the meeting you are missing at work, or talking endlessly on your phone is going to annoy everyone, especially your wife who'll be in pain listening to you chatting about strategies and forcasts. Being at your child's birth is a special experience that will probably happen only a few times in your life, so turn your phone off and focus on helping your partner through what is undoubtedly one of the most difficult things she'll ever go through. 

3. Panic

If you're squeamish or don't like blood you need to talk about this before your partner starts labouring. The last thing the midwives need is another patient; you hyperventilating in the corner. Staying calm is going to help your partner's labour, but if she sees you panicking she'll panic herself. If you are finding it too much (it's OK to feel this by the way) go for a quick stroll outside, get some fresh air and a cup of tea, rather than sweating it out. 

4. Flirt with the midwives

Just so wrong in every way. Even joke flirting isn't going to cut it. Midwives are there to make sure that your partner and baby enter the world as safely as possible. They are often understaffed and have worked an all-night shift. The last thing they need is you and your one-liners. 

5. Look disgusted, or worse, retch

Labour isn't pretty. There's blood and gunk and sometimes poo. Looking disgusted or verbalising how grossed out you are is absolutely not on. Nor is telling your partner off for grunting or screaming. (Believe me, a woman in labour CANNOT control the sounds that come out of her mouth).

6. Get annoyed with her

The midwives are telling her to push, you're telling her to push, the tea lady is telling her to push… if she isn't doing what is being asked, it's not because she's trying to be clever, or lazy or indolent, she's exhausted. Even her eyelashes are tired. Give her a break and try to understand what she is feeling; having a go at her isn't going to speed labour up. 

7. Say inappropriate things

Like, 'can you put an extra stitch in', whilst she's being stitched up following an episiotomy. Or 'I can see the head… only joking, I can't see anything but xxx'. The labour ward isn't really the time for your stand up comedy routine.

8. Think you know better

Unless you are absolutely convinced it's in your partner's best interests, don't argue with the midwives or your partner. They've seen millions of babies being born and most of the time they DO know best, so respect their opinions and try not to play doctor. 

9. Not turn up

Unless you've discussed it with your partner and it's been decided another birth partner would be more suitable than you, (her mum or sister for example) this really is a drop-everything situation. Even if this is your big presentation moment at work, or your team makes the FA Cup Final, if your partner needs you at the birth, be there. 

10. Making the 'birth film'

Unless your partner has specifically requested your videoing skills, don't try to make your directorial debut with the birth video. Trying to get a good shot will probably mean you are in everyone's way whilst your baby is being delivered, not to mention that you'll miss the actual moment by being stuck behind a camera. Your partner will be in no position to argue with you about what you are filming, and she's not only at a very vulnerable point in her life, she's also bright red in the face, exhausted, she's likely to have been up for 24 hours and not wearing many clothes. She could well be grunting or screaming. Would you want to be filmed like this? Having said that, there is nothing wrong with filming at a few carefully chosen (calm) moments away from the action and if you do film the actual moment of birth, do not (and I repeat) DO NOT show it to anyone else. This is for the two of you to enjoy, not your office, or for Grandparents, or saved for your new baby's 18th birthday. 

Source

Yours 

Secret Virgin

Social Virgin Networking

Considering in creating a twitter and/or facebook account to tie in with the blog. Maybe reach a few more people. Don't know, I already have official accounts elsewhere for other reasons like business ect.

Will have to consider. Hmmmmmm.

Yours

Secret Virgin

Holiday of Banks

What is it about parks that make people horny as hell?

Seriously!?

So walking in Hyde Park (alone). Nice day in London and everything and things are hot in more then one sense.

Heading towards the serpentine enjoying the scenery and a scene that you would normally see in an Attenborough documentary on the gorilla's of the Amazon and the mating habits. Male lies down, female swings a leg over him and has him pinned in a gorilla leg grip and tongue out like a scene from an Alien film. I was half expecting Attenborough with a film crew in one bush (no pun intended) and James Cameron in another bush filming a new Alien film.

Anyway still wandering on. Alone. I stop for a break down by the Peter Pan Statue. (Yes it's Kensington garden not Hyde Park, just one big park for heavens sake) A couple arrive and find the nearest tree to me, she pretty young red head, him mediocre middle eastern gentlemen. They start tongue wrestling up against a tree, that's fine with me not afraid to see a couple kiss, but then the scene is ruined with him taking a plunge into his track suit bottoms. She can do better.

Heading back up towards Marble Arch Tube station. Walk past a tree with a rich green, thick, leafy branch which is low to the ground and legs.

Wait! What?

Yes this tree had a set of naked legs that were in a position that any frequent porn fan would recognize and then it grew a pair of legs with jeans on. And then there were some huffing and puffing so moved on, didn't want to be part of any new nature documentary that may be being filmed.

So went on home alone.

OK Universe I get the point. Park sex is now on my list of things to do.

Yours
Secret Virgin

"Free" Communication Weekend

So if anyone is reading this blog/diary regularly, you would know I have been considering signing up to a couple of online dating sites.

I saw an advert today (typical) from eHarmony on a free communication weekend, so you can sign up and communicate for free instead of paying for 4 days. Now I missed this 4 day event so have yet to sign up. But got me wandering which is best paying to find someone or going with free sites?

I understand eHarmony has had a good track record in the US and now over here, but one free site I found has also had a pretty good track record. With the recession and everything everyone is watching the wallet a little more then usual, and I am not excluded. But I have noticed a strange thing.

Now check out Date London and do a simple search for your ideal partner.

Not bad huh? all down to earth, reasonably cute. There is the odd black sheep on each page but most of these results are pretty good, you even have a "compatibility" meter for your searches (when you sign up of course).

Now take a look at Snog London.

Hmm right? Don't know about you but that is the site to find the more questionable character.

I have been reluctant to sign up for anything right now but it is getting more and more tempting as life goes on just to slap out a profile.

I might give one of these "free" communication offers up for the 4 days just to see what sort of response (if any) I get. Will of course report back.

Yours
Secret Virgin

Taking the First Step

Went to check up on my new apartment today and took my parents along for advice.

On the train journey home there was a very cute guy sitting opposite me Bit like David Tennant but with a smaller face and a bit shorter. I did on a couple of attempts to catch his eye with not much success and seem a bit difficult with parents there.

On the rare occasion that I had a "partner" I was always approached and never the other way round. So I have very little idea on how to approach someone I liked, never taken the first step in a relationship. Does it make a difference?

I have been rejected many times threw out my life so I tend to let someone make the big steps forward and I just either agree or disagree. A few missed opportunities but didn't think they were opportunities till it was too late.

Maybe that's what's wrong. You would think a string of rejections add another one it wouldn't make a difference but to me it does.

As it was very hot I wore a very tight fitting a dress and when I bent over it didn't leave much to the imagination on the top regions. But he seem to go out of his way not to look at me directly, having the folks there put him off a bit.

I am waiting for something but don't know what. Once I get going I am myself. Why can't I take that first step?

Yours
Secret Virgin

A Little "May" Time - Part III

It's the last day of May and so comes the end (pun not intended there) of National Masturbation Month. I of course celebrated with a little me time this morning and was very good today, thou don't think I did anything different apart from it took me a little longer to get going then usual.

During my many years of virginal self love I have come across a couple of sites of great interest and based on this topic, mainly around female masturbation but some handy tips for anyone looking or seeking some pleasure alone or getting to know your partner better as well as the usual safety tips and advice that goes along with any type of intercourse.

Scarleteen

The Clitoris.com

Got a lot of ideas from this site. First place that explained masturbating standing up, which I have done a couple of times, but lie down more often. Also very informative about the female genitalia.

Yours
Secret Virgin

A Little "May" Time

Did you know May is the National Masturbation Month? You do now. Only found out a couple of days ago myself.

Now more widely accepted as the "norm" to masturbate regularly seems more folk are willing to experiment as much as they would with a sexual partner of some description and many people sharing them with other's. I have even read that is seen as "Real Sex" and perfectly healthy.

I have been masturbating since mid-puberty and when Sex Education was due in the classroom. I had spent many years wandering what sex is like and always had that tingling sensation but never took action on it for a long time. Till one night I grabbed a pillow and that was it. Thou seemed very shameful and embarrassed about it at the time, thou determined to prove to myself that I was sexually active and hopefully attractive.

Naturally things developed further and the pillow was dumped (Thou still have the one off when in the mood) and turned to massage. Enjoying it more and experiencing more powerful orgasm.

I have always believed that masturbation was the best way to work out what turned me on, what points worked, what position I liked. I think I have become an expert of my own sexual pleasure but of course when I actually get to do it will probably be a different experience.

Yours
Secret Virgin

A new start

I feel like a new start is coming on. Looks like I am almost set to move to a new location and start a new chapter in my life.

Hopefully this will mean a new job as well as hopefully some sort of love life. I am going to be living in a much more sociable area then I am now. Yet this nagging feeling of remaining alone in the world still hangs there.

I think I might start up a step by step guide for myself for getting out and about and meeting more people.

Yours
Secret Virgin

It Begins

Where to begin?

I have sat here for a good 10-15 mins wandering how to start. And to be honest I am stuck, but typing away anyway. Might make sense but who knows?

What is this about?

For a while now I have been thinking about my life and where it is I want to be and wandering if my life is progressing the way it should. I was then reminded that I will be 25 soon and still a virgin, and has bought up many questions in my mind. I have taken some advice from my mother and some shaky advice from friends. 

We seem to live in a culture obsessed with "virginity", and I am not sure why. We seem obsessed with losing it and in some cases becomes a competition with your friends in high school. I did have friends who lost there virginity to some questionable men at 16, and have since regretted the experience.

I wanted to open this up and explore what it is to be a virgin and the feelings and reactions I get from being what is considered to be older then "normal". 

What is "normal"?

Has it become such a common place for a young women to lose her virginity at a young age that it becomes "sub-normal" for someone over a certain age?

I feel I am ready and have had missed opportunities to have a relationship due to drunk University nights out. I may of been drunk but still wasn't willing to go home with a man and "do the deed". I was ready but wanted to do it my way.

This is also a way of documenting the good, bad and downright funny experiences that I face as I try to sort out the questions and hurdles of this subject of sex, dating and life.

Religious?

No. But believe in waiting for the right time and man. I'm not going to reel of quotes and stuff, I am in no way that way but understand there are people like that who are free to comment. This is exploring culture as well as sexuality.

Why the Secrecy?

I once had a bad experience.

I told someone in trust that I was a virgin then a little while later she used that knowledge as a weapon against someone else to show how pathetic it was. Another that I trusted then joined in and made it worst. Two seemingly adult women. Yes it was women who did this. Took personal and private information and used it to try and win a fight against an older man who I had been flirting with.

She then started rattling off how much more of a women she was then me because she has had many men. Luckily this didn't turn into an embarrassing moment for me but more for her and this 2nd person and everyone involved were disgusted that they had done this. The main instigator of this fight I have not seen since the second still doesn't think she has done anything wrong and still thinks we are friends despite my refusal to talk to her.

I have wanted to start something like this but afraid these 2 might get some more ammunition. Hence the secrecy  of my identity. It also makes it easier to talk about it openly.

Anything else?

I like chocolate.

Why Valentines Day?

Seemed appropriate. I have never spent a Valentines with a man so seemed like a good idea to start on a love holiday.

I hope this first post was informative enough. I don't plan on posting frequently but post regularly enough.

Yours

Secret Virgin