What He Wants.

I was having an interesting discussion which turned into a small argument with a "women" (I use the term loosely) who is a couple of years my junior.

The initial discussion was about how long is it appropriate to wait till you have sex with your partner/date/boy/girl friend. Now this young 'women' said she doesn't bother with dating and if they ask for it she let's them. Her reasoning is that she had given up on love and that men only want one thing and that she will give it to them and that thinking like a man she can get what she wants.

Now she is very immature for her age and her opinion of men is very low. She is also very much a racist and I don't get along with her as she sees everything as one big game and her parents are correct all the time and are very strict. She hasn't been around long enough to get to really know men thinking they are nothing but sex crazed Neanderthal's.

She claims all her 'lovers' liked having sex with her until she had someone who then went behind her back and told his mates she was "like a wooden board". She blamed everything but herself and then got upset when he went behind her back and insulted her.

As I said she is immature and I even tried to explain to her that she had built up a reputation as the local cheap shag and that men in general will talk to there mates about how awful having cheap sex is. Despite that she said she did everything he told her to and even gave him a helping hand in getting erected as he had trouble, not foreplay, according to her it's "disgusting". She also needed a place to sleep.

I then found myself thinking "Why does she do this to herself?", "Why want that reputation?", "Why think sex is only enjoyable for men?". She doesn't even enjoy sex.

As I said she has given up on anything 'real' due to some unfortunate experience. But a bit of a harsh conclusion to come to as to make yourself a toy. This guy that said she was wooden obviously didn't want a limp doll lying there and only moved when he said, he obviously wanted more to enjoy it and still she saw it as his fault.

I want to enjoy myself and obviously enjoy it with him and do want it but don't want to lower myself and turn into this girl. Just doing it because you think it's what he wants seems to demean ourselves back to the 80's where women were expected to do the man's bidding and make women second class citizen's. Even the high class call girls don't completely sub-due themselves, they still have some control. She has become a nothing, and saying she has never experienced love seems to be a poor excuse since no one experiences or finds love till they do.

I spoke to other's and some think she may be lying about her "experiences" as she doesn't seem to know exactly what's going on or the process. Could she be lying yet still thinking "this is what people expect me to say/talk about"

I have had VERY bad dates and have dealt with men who are vile and disgusting but hasn't forced me to give up on myself or men overall.

My Question:
Does bad experience's dictate how you approach sex?

Secret Virgin