It Begins

Where to begin?

I have sat here for a good 10-15 mins wandering how to start. And to be honest I am stuck, but typing away anyway. Might make sense but who knows?

What is this about?

For a while now I have been thinking about my life and where it is I want to be and wandering if my life is progressing the way it should. I was then reminded that I will be 25 soon and still a virgin, and has bought up many questions in my mind. I have taken some advice from my mother and some shaky advice from friends. 

We seem to live in a culture obsessed with "virginity", and I am not sure why. We seem obsessed with losing it and in some cases becomes a competition with your friends in high school. I did have friends who lost there virginity to some questionable men at 16, and have since regretted the experience.

I wanted to open this up and explore what it is to be a virgin and the feelings and reactions I get from being what is considered to be older then "normal". 

What is "normal"?

Has it become such a common place for a young women to lose her virginity at a young age that it becomes "sub-normal" for someone over a certain age?

I feel I am ready and have had missed opportunities to have a relationship due to drunk University nights out. I may of been drunk but still wasn't willing to go home with a man and "do the deed". I was ready but wanted to do it my way.

This is also a way of documenting the good, bad and downright funny experiences that I face as I try to sort out the questions and hurdles of this subject of sex, dating and life.

Religious?

No. But believe in waiting for the right time and man. I'm not going to reel of quotes and stuff, I am in no way that way but understand there are people like that who are free to comment. This is exploring culture as well as sexuality.

Why the Secrecy?

I once had a bad experience.

I told someone in trust that I was a virgin then a little while later she used that knowledge as a weapon against someone else to show how pathetic it was. Another that I trusted then joined in and made it worst. Two seemingly adult women. Yes it was women who did this. Took personal and private information and used it to try and win a fight against an older man who I had been flirting with.

She then started rattling off how much more of a women she was then me because she has had many men. Luckily this didn't turn into an embarrassing moment for me but more for her and this 2nd person and everyone involved were disgusted that they had done this. The main instigator of this fight I have not seen since the second still doesn't think she has done anything wrong and still thinks we are friends despite my refusal to talk to her.

I have wanted to start something like this but afraid these 2 might get some more ammunition. Hence the secrecy  of my identity. It also makes it easier to talk about it openly.

Anything else?

I like chocolate.

Why Valentines Day?

Seemed appropriate. I have never spent a Valentines with a man so seemed like a good idea to start on a love holiday.

I hope this first post was informative enough. I don't plan on posting frequently but post regularly enough.

Yours

Secret Virgin