Holiday of Banks

What is it about parks that make people horny as hell?

Seriously!?

So walking in Hyde Park (alone). Nice day in London and everything and things are hot in more then one sense.

Heading towards the serpentine enjoying the scenery and a scene that you would normally see in an Attenborough documentary on the gorilla's of the Amazon and the mating habits. Male lies down, female swings a leg over him and has him pinned in a gorilla leg grip and tongue out like a scene from an Alien film. I was half expecting Attenborough with a film crew in one bush (no pun intended) and James Cameron in another bush filming a new Alien film.

Anyway still wandering on. Alone. I stop for a break down by the Peter Pan Statue. (Yes it's Kensington garden not Hyde Park, just one big park for heavens sake) A couple arrive and find the nearest tree to me, she pretty young red head, him mediocre middle eastern gentlemen. They start tongue wrestling up against a tree, that's fine with me not afraid to see a couple kiss, but then the scene is ruined with him taking a plunge into his track suit bottoms. She can do better.

Heading back up towards Marble Arch Tube station. Walk past a tree with a rich green, thick, leafy branch which is low to the ground and legs.

Wait! What?

Yes this tree had a set of naked legs that were in a position that any frequent porn fan would recognize and then it grew a pair of legs with jeans on. And then there were some huffing and puffing so moved on, didn't want to be part of any new nature documentary that may be being filmed.

So went on home alone.

OK Universe I get the point. Park sex is now on my list of things to do.

Yours
Secret Virgin