Digital Dating

For regular readers will of read, last entry I was trying to decide if it was worth signing up to eHarmony as I had received a new communication from someone and couldn't respond or see photo's due to me not being a member. Which is complete crock if you ask me and a lot of money but luckily I was offered 3 months for the price of one and after some discussions with my mum decided to go ahead with it.

So been in regular communication with a guy on eHarmony and we have much in common and cute from his photo's. After a couple of weeks of eHarmony mail he asked me last night he enjoyed chatting with me online and would like to meet up for drinks. Which is fair enough and got to give it a go I suppose, and was hoping to meet up with him at some point anyway but didn't want to seem pushy. Now that we are going to sort a time to meet up it seems more real and a bit more scary. All of the men I have dated ended up being stalkers of some description including my very first "boyfriend" and he was the worst of the lot.

Some mixture of excitement and fear right now. But going to plug on with it and hopefully he won't end up hiding outside my apartment.

Yours
Secret Virgin

Communication not so much free

So free communication epic fail.

Saturday I get a notice from eHarmony someone wishes to start eHarmony mail me. Which is basically the final step so this guy jumps steps 1-4 and right into step 5 with me. Great someone with an interest, then another email with an offer of 3 months subscription for the price of one. Even better. (Still over £30 thou)

All of a sudden, Horror! I can't currently see photo's just the profile. What if this guy is very low on the pecking order or handsome? What if he is one very large man who wanks at the computer all day long? Or something like the man in the picture above? But then could be very cute and very sweet.

I think because my past luck with men has been so bad. I seem to stop myself from progressing. I have never had a good date, ever. And this is with guys who would be considered mediocre in looks (apart from that rugby bloke, he was very fine. But that wasn't a date more of sexy, drunk dancing then a quick feel up).

And then again I can be very tight with my money as well. Even £35 for 3 months is a lot of money to put down on something that may never get past the emailing stage. And that's not even the full price. I don't want to seem like a bitch and not reply to him. Like some of the other guys on there I wanted to chat with, got nothing back from them. This offer lasts till Friday, but getting that gut feeling to go ahead and just say 'yes' to myself. And then in 5 mins get that bad feeling.

And a follwer mentioned Pleanty Of fish. Had a look on the UK site and the men on there scared me. Seriously, it did I didn't go past page 1.

Why can't I have a normal job and meet men in the flesh? It's cheaper and burns slightly less carbon.

Yours
Secret Virgin

Free Communication Part 3

All I can say is thank god I didn't sign up over the weekend.

Well the free communication weekend at eHarmony has ended and all I can say is SLOW. I know finding the right person takes time, but really this site was supposed to help speed that up a bit.

As of yesterday I had 53 'matches' all of them either didn't really match my criteria or they were just plain boring, nothing jumped out of me apart from 2 blokes who never responded back. Rejection in it's slightly less hurtful form. eHarmony may of worked for the 2% in America that got married who met via eHarmony it may of worked for, but either these guys just don't bother, mail everyone on there matches list, or simply have the worlds most dullest profiles. And of course if you haven't subscribed you can't see there photo's, so another large disappointment. My profile is still up on the website, but no longer having much of an interest on it, if someone sends a communication request then I can just read the profile and decide if they are worth £20 a month for 3 months.

All in all very disappointed in eHarmony. I know it was only for 4 days and a bit much to ask from them but from the way they advertise on telly I expected a bigger response that what I actually got.

Been thinking about having a go on a free site, but then those on that type of site come across as desperate and uninteresting, and don't really want my inbox flooded with desperate emails pleading to meet, but at least you can see the photo's and not going to get charged for chatting.

Free Communication Expeiment Part 2

Aye!

That's all I can say about it all so far. Today 35 matches in my match box on eHarmony. Out of them all there is one that catches my attention.

As of my entry yesterday there has been 2 more "matches". Yesterday it was 'C' and 'J'. Me and C, an IT Service Desk Operator, shared questions, answers, hates and must haves. Came to a bit of a dead stop after that, interest became a bit lacking and still is somewhat but don't whant to seem like a bitch as I initiated the discussion. Next stage is to send open questions, you can put in your own or choose from a list and allows for more detailed answers. Just trying to decide if it is worth going ahead with step 4 since there is barely 2 days left.

J, a TV producer and about 6 years my senior, has yet to respond to my questons and is funnily enough the one guy I feel I can really connect with. Knowing my luck he will respond after Monday. Typical Man haha.

Yesterday a new guy intiated communication with me. For now we will call him 'I'. Read his profile, nothing in it jumps out at me but give him a benefit of a doubt and responded to his questions and sent him my own. Couple hours later he responds, and a couple of the answers were OK the rest were, well, cautious shall we say. One question I sent was along the lines of what wil you do to cheer me up after a bad day. He had a chioce of 4 answers or write his own he went with write his own and responce was basically 'depends'.

DEPENDS! That sounded half hearted. You contacted me mate put some effort into it. Anyway the answers wenr't exactly thrilling so have not continued to step 2. Oh and I is a civil servant and like his profile a tad boring.

Got more matches today and well could only find one of interest. We will call him 'P', TV Director and a little closer to my age. Profile made me smile and sounded like someone I could connect. Currently waiting for a responce.

On another note if you are considering doing the free communication with eHarmony, the home profile. You have updaes inculding who looks at your profile. Prolem is you can't see who has looked unless once again you subscribe, they just come up as "someone" and again no photo's. There are many disadvantages to this especially, if like me, you are on a tight budget.

The experiement continues.

Yours
Secret Virgin

Free communication experiment part 1

An update since my post yesterday.

Started a communication with one guy. For now we will call him "C" just in case. Anyway we have started the back and fourth that eHarmony offers. eHarmony offer many forms of communication the one I am using with this guy is the basic. Starting off with him asking 5 questions picked from a pre-made list and me answering them and then asking him 5 questions. It's bit like speed dating minus the bell and large amount of alcohol. Now as a non-subscriber to eHarmony at present I can't see photo's. So any minute now I am expecting Cilla Black and her shouting "surprise, surprise".

Logged into my profile to find eHarmony has found me a few more matches. One did really catch my attention. So I made the first move by sending an "icebreaker", first time in a while I am hoping for a responce. Bit excited but could turn to dissapointment knowing me.

Yours
Secret Virgin

Free Communication Experiment

As previously talked about on my blog. I have been considering online dating sites for a while now and missed the last "Free Communication" weekend a few sites had on. Entry can be found here

And starting today and going threw till Monday eHarmony is having a free communication weekend. So after having a look at there prices I thought why not. See what's going down in the online dating world.

Took me 30 mins just to fill in the online 'personality test' and then another 30 mins to fill in the bits and pieces on the profile. During this time one other user looks at my profile before completing and decides he wants communication. GREAT your thinking. But remember it's me we are talking about here.

Profile nicely done up, pictures uploaded despite not being exactly photogenic. So decided to reply to this guys communication. I enter the communication dashboard on eHarmony and has his name age ect and then a button that says Close Match. Now I thought this meant he is a close match based on the  personality test and to click it to continue. Oh no it actually means stop communicating.

I haven't even started properly and I have already cocked up a relationship. I sent a request to re-open via eHarmony but apparently he closed it off as well. So a request has been sent to him on my behalf, but got strange feeling the horse has bolted on that one. So far so good.

After further investigation I then find, despite it being all open a free, you can't view profile pictures till you become a subscriber. So after all that ends up a waist of time. And lets face how many people can afford £15pm just to email. I doubt I will get that many matches.

Still got today and the next 3 days to see if it is actually worth staying on and how many men I can scare off on a time limit.

Will be updating as and when something comes along.

Yours
Secret Virgin